Reviews, Yapping & Funny Stuff!

Platform: Sega CD

Ooohh yeah baby, totally hip hints, p-p-phat visuals and a slammin’ soundtrack right here to Make My Video! HAHAHA! More like phat-ass visuals which y’can EAT big time! Are you one of those epileptic chumps or one of those lame frumpwusses that don’t enjoy music?! Well, look away from this totally ludicrously fire video! For COOL KIDS ONLY!

Man, I dunno how to make engagin’ hooks, okay? But I make a good 90s cool impression, don't I?
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Anyways! Make My Video. It fuckin’ sucks!

Rating: I NEED A SECOND out of 10.

End of review.

I was just musin' to myself and I realized how fascinatin' it is to scope out people's journals and just, read their day to day life for a brief moment. What diverse life and what a reminder that people out there just keep on chuggin' on while you're sitting to rest, a lively world beyond your human understanding.

It's like walkin' around the neighborhood and looking at the houses, wonderin' how their life is on the inside, or how the house even looks like. How cold it feels, how the light hits, how to music bounces off the wall and what station the radio is on. Now on journal form, with more explicit details of a fun time, a bad day or just an interesting day...

Let the game GO, you maniacs.

“A terrible hostage situation in the gaming realm!” Cries the fictional newspapers in this made up story. Crackin’ in my walkie-talkie are the orders to continue negotiating with the “Gamer Dudes Pretending They Have Written Essays Before,” hungry for views and validation from our overlords at Youtube, beggin’ for a modicum of respect for their supposed intellect. In their greedy arms is the slack, old and depressed Silent Hill 2.

Smarty-pants introductions aside, y’can’t deny I’m right (as I usually am) ‘bout this goddamn situation. Silent Hill 2 has become the Pretentious Gamer’s favorite content cow that everyone exploits, yet the conversation has not been fresh for the better part of a decade. Yes, it’s that cartoon of the paper-thin cow and Barack Obama (for some reason…?) coming back to the barn with ten more buckets. The buckets are Youtube’s nearly-inhuman demands for more retention! Ya better replicate the success y’had with this ONE video or we’ll throw your channel into the shadow realm despite bein’ a slave to our system! We care ‘bout creators here, pal. And you are Barack Obama. Inexplicably.

Shit, don’t I understand the pressure, but you guys got a whole library of games out there to explore! But no, you stick to the overdone, to the easy to dissect, ‘cause the lot of ya don’t have the creativity to do so. There's only so much you can say about the game before you start soundin’ like those GTA San Andreas content creators, but the drawback with Silent Hill 2 is the lack of Machinima-esque content to even farm! The subject matter is so serious and devoid of innovation (because with a theme as serious as Silent Hill’s, you tend to not wander ‘round too much into humor out of respect to the material), and divin’ into other games with other kindsa themes requires a level of empathy and understanding the good fuckin’ chunk of you dudes don’t have. Silent Hill 3, for example, has a more female perspective and theme coursin’ through its veins but this doesn’t mean y’all can’t relate to some of the horrors presented. It just means you guys don’t WANT TO. Understandin’ that horror, after all, requires you losers to be smart.

I must admit, too, that Silent Hill 2 is one of the few SH entries I give two shits about. Next to the abomination that is Homecoming and its rubble.png-esque design (that's a running gag that cuts deep, you guys will learn soon). So coupled that with a buncha pretentious gaming nerds and ya got yourself a recipe for disasterdom. And my eternal disdain for you idiots. I will live for the day where people see through the very obvious attempts at being seen as a smart ‘essayist’ and shoot right through to the heart of many of those essays, which is becoming an increasing problem.

It's never for the love of the game, it's for the love of the views.

It's not that Silent Hill 2 has a lot to say, it's that people have a lot to gain by talkin' bout it for the nth time. Let the game go, you guys look ridiculous.

I haven't said somethin' in a while, have I? No sweat, your girl was busy doin' everything else but typin' shit out. If you don't know the score, let me give you the inside scoop. Ya girl has been tryin' to get hired for her video editin' skill, and even more she's been, like, trying to keep an organized computer and create new shit -- just all around explore shit I have never been able to explore. Surprisingly the most mentally gruellin' part is the organizing shit, keepin' everything as organized as possible lest I find myself makin' a mess on this new PC and I don't want that! This shit's got, like, 1TB of storage, I better wisen up, dudes.

That aside, I've been stressed out, y'dig? Christmas time comin' soon, unemployed, and wondering if I'll ever be good enough for anythin' is more taxing than people give me credit for. The fact I'm still standing is totally rad, but a major bummer that it keeps happening.

I can't promise you hungry viewers and readers more cool content comin' soon or anything, 'cause god knows I am never consistent, but I hope to express my thoughts down here more often. It's good for me, for the soul, y'know? Anyways, I think that's all for today. Catch you guys on the flip side, or somethin'.

Check it, I got a new 'puter! Somethin' somethin' specs here that I don't feel like sharing (I dunno, a habit due to where I'm from, really), but it's a lot bigger than what I used to have. Naturally, my video editin' job is about to become a whole lot better once I learn the nebulous ways to, uh, wrestle with after effects --- and the impending doom of Adobe products takin' over my laboral life because some annoyin' people want and require Adobe instead of maybe bein' more flexible and now I'm just complaining 'bout my job here on Dreamwidth so maybe I oughta shut my trap 'fore I get REALLY angry with it.

Anyways, y'know that my gamin' senses are tingling at this revelation. I tooootally can play, like, the newest-latest games that aren't actually new or late. They're late for my poor, third world ass at least. However, right as rain I found myself simply downloadin' emulators and cookin' up a list of ps2 games that I couldn't play before and that I wanta play now. Right now, I'm finally able to play Kingdom Hearts 2 without havin' to download that monster of a 60 gb ReMix joint they have floating 'round the interwebs, dude. Tu-bu-LAR!

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I have fallen out of love with punk…

Fuckin’ insane testimony comin’ from your friendly neighborhood punkzo, right? Well, I guess it was long-time comin’ I just didn’t want to scope out what that gut instinct had been tryin’ to tell me for a long time.

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I caught myself sayin' "Rad" unironically and I was fuckin' HYPED.

I love this, I always felt like even my way of speakin' could be cool, a part of my personal signature, style, even the way that I've started typing. Sets me apart from the crowd of very distinct people who have found their voice and colors. Now I'm here, thinkin' I'm slowly achieving my own understanding of not only fashion but in my design and shit. I still suck ass at design, make no mistake, but I at least am better than when I started. Shit, I can't even show you 'cause half of the designs I made ain't even on the ether!

Anyways, this is really silly. But it made me giddy, alright? It was bodacious!!

SimValley is where we lay our scene, a quaint town that is quite unlike any other Sim towns we have. Why? Because weirdos are abundant and you get to be a big part of all the weirdness! Or, well, me in this case, but I’m taking you along for the ride!

I grew up playing The Sims 2 the most but secondary to the base PC game (and the Playstation 2 version, but we’ll open that can of worms another time) was the collection of Gameboy Advance Sims games. Minus Pets, I could never get behind that one. Anyways, one of my favorites among those was Bustin’ Out and it opened me to a different playstyle for the Sims altogether that I ended up enjoying a lot more than I thought I would – and with it, it opened a storyline/plot that had its quintessential wackiness of The Sims™ with an added flair.

Listen, I won’t be detailing the game in itself, okay? But if I have a hand in convincing you to play it, then allow me to just say that I think this game is an experience that as a Sims fan you should at least have – regardless if you know about it, know nothing or something. It’s devoid of the classic characters we tend to associate with The Sims (particularly 2) but it introduces a charming roster in a small, charming town and – get this – when you talk to them you actually GET TO READ DIALOGUE!! Making the character interactions far more insightful, interesting and funny. It’s so neat!

Wait, but what is this blog? I am so glad you ask, because I know no one does. This blog is just me writing down my thoughts, my jokes, my bits, my progress and whatever I want about my experience of Bustin’ Out. I will be writing my adventures through this fictional town as my character, and the character will have its own personality traits and random shit. Neat, isn’t it?

Anyways, let me visualize SimValley for you.



This is the town of SimValley as a whole (as far as I am aware) and I will only be mentioning places and only detailing the essentials part of it – for the bit – so if you want to somehow keep this in handy for the sake of visualizing then you can. Or not, I’m not your mother.

So, if you wish to tag along let me welcome you to SimValley!!

An odd choice, isn't it? Well, it's super silly but I like this scene even if it bears no real weight to the entire game.

It's a beautiful afternoon on the hill, the kids are waiting for a fabled train and in comes Seifer -- their supposed rival and one of my favorite character in gaming-- to seemingly just pester then. And pester he does, enough for Roxas to stand up and face him, to which Seifer responds:

"Why does looking at you always piss me off?"

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No literally, that is the question. And no, I'm not talking about The Weeknd's embarrassing softcore porn fantasy of a show, I'm talking about the concept of idols in general.

Y'remember back when people in the early internetdom used to mock politicians and celebrities equally? When we had our own little club? I will admit that some of these attacks were founded in deep hatred for anythin' popular, girly, kid-like or just a disdain for female pop artists and that kinda fuckin' sucked, but we used to put Bush through perils and openly mock politicians! But then there was a moment in time where we seemingly shifted from having a detached or balanced relationship with our idols, to worshipping 'natural idols' and right into listenin' to every bullshit claim outta their moufs. Now it feels like you can't really say the soberin' statement that a lot of politics and politicians, some celebrities and influencers are a total fuckin' farse and they should be mocked -- mostly 'cause you will piss off a bunch of people on either direction accusin' you of anything they think you are.

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