retrogrrrl | The Yearly Suckage! (The Game Awards fiasco)

Gaming has expanded so far from its culture and community that it has effectively bled into the rest of the entertainment industry. Some loser with vitriol will mumble to 'emselves that it's now a NORMIES thing, to which I gotta tell ya to go outside and touch a little blade of freshly cut grass. I will agree on somethin' though. With this change comes along the pop-culture-ification of events like the now defunct E3 and, most recently, The Game Awards. Frankly, it no longer holds the awkward but genuine charm of the gamin' industry, where a bunch of nerds dressed in their Sunday's finest came on stage to briefly tell ya 'bout a project that would eventually become legendary, there's no color and excitement for what technology MIGHT be able to achieve and what hot new title would shape the rest of games to come. As time has gone by and my taste in modern gamin' has run stale, I've begun to simply measure the quality of these events by the fair and simple metric of: LAUGHTER.

And I think this is the first time in a Game Award I have not laughed a single bit, not even by the jokes I've made to amuse myself.

I tuned in to, effectively, 4 hours of one game sweeping categories it seemingly didn't even belong to, Hosts with the charisma of a peed cardboard box and jokes written by the grace of our future overlords: Chat GPT and Grok, post-hitlerification. Very few stellar things jumped to mind (Milla Jovovich being a delight, Maggie and the dude delivering a frankly charming little segment, LENNY KRAVITZ and Miss Piggy) & the same repeated formula of games didn't help placate the growin' annoyance. I'm talkin' hack-n-slash, shooters, space games, space-shooters, and the occasional unique game with style and substance that gets largely swept under the rug in favor of the super hot and anticipated games which are just Fortnite Clones and Genshin Impact look-a-likes beggin' ya to keep in touch like some hypocritical classmate durin' the Highschool reunion wantin' to relive old times where she was the head honcho of the gossip train. Shit, is that too specific?

Hell, I had an entire idea for this post! But I frankly could not give two more shits to write more than this. I don't think TGA even deserves my witty writin' to boot. What a shit show.